Friday, August 6, 2010

Wraggs - rip sweetie

Wraggs was one cool dog as can be seen in this picture!

Wraggs health had deteriorated for a few weeks. I had been force feeding her for at least 6 weeks and she had started to not tolerate it. She didn’t bite me but she wouldn’t take it and if she did, she most likely would throw it back up a little later. The last few days of her life she was miserable. You could see it in her eyes. She tried to stay happy for me but her lights were flickering. She still loved her once a day walk. We didn’t go very far, maybe a block total. She followed me everywhere. If I walked in the bedroom, she followed and when I left the bedroom, she would go back in the front room to lie down. As long as she knew where I was, she was okay.

On August 1st she told me, she told me in her own way, “I’m ready, please help me”.

I called the Vet’s office the next morning and made THE appointment. I started crying as I made the appointment, knowing that this was inevitable and that the decision was final. I spent all day Monday and Tuesday with her and Tuesday afternoon I put her leash on her one last time. We went out to the garage so I could get her into the Jeep. I wasn’t sure if I would be able to lift her, she used to be close to 70 pounds. I was easily able to lift her; she had lost so much weight. In the back seat she went and off we drove. Wraggs looked out the window on the trip, which was different for her, because she never liked looking out the window, maybe she knew ‘I need to look now’.

We got to Dr. Morgan’s office and I helped her out of the Jeep and took her over to pee and if she felt the need, poop. And we walked in the door. Sharon the receptionist was there and said ‘are you sure?’ I told her yes and that she was not allowed to make me cry. While we waited for the doctor a guy with two large Rottweiler’s came in, the idiot couldn’t control the 2 dogs. Yeah, good idea dude. Bring 2 very large dogs into the vets waiting room cause it is your right and you are a moron. They took him in thru the side door cause HE WAS AN IDIOT!!! Back to waiting….we are waiting and a woman walks in the door and is standing there and I recognize her as someone I worked with at Verizon. She has many cats, think she said 16 at her house (she has a cattery). I networked a bit because she works at a company that I would like to work at. And then it was our turn to go in the back.

The vet tech beckoned us in and Wraggs couldn’t or wouldn’t get up so the tech came over and picked her up and set her on the scale (she needed to see how much sedative was going to be required). 46.6 pounds. Wraggs had lost 20 pounds. Shit. I felt horrible and still do. We went into the patient room and they had a nice blanket on the floor and immediately Wraggs decided she wanted to go out the door. I had to convince her that this was a good thing and to come over to me and be with me. The tech gave her the sedative in her butt and Wraggs immediately sat down. It took a good 15-20 minutes for the sedative to take effect. In the meantime I get to listen to the moron idiot yell ‘DO YOU THINK I AM A GOOD PET OWNER? I DO ANYTHING FOR MY PETS. HOW MUCH WILL THAT COST, I DON’T HAVE MUCH MONEY’. I wanted to walk out there and tell him to shut the hell up and enjoy his healthy young dogs. They finally got rid of him. The tech came in to check on us but Wraggs hadn’t settled down enough so she gave us more time. She came back a second time and Wraggs was still not resting so she gave her just a touch more sedative and we waited a bit more. Then it was time.

I won’t tell you other than to say that it is very peaceful. I held Wraggs head as she passed. They left us alone and let me sit with her for a bit to say my goodbyes (Yes, I cried and I cried hard). Then I walked out the side door and cried the entire way home.

Came home to a very quiet house. Who knew how much room one dog could take up.

Ellie is the one cat that has noticed that Wraggs is missing. I have a ritual at bedtime, I go into the guest room (Heathen room) and clean up cat poop (cause Louie always does his thing at bedtime) then I lay down with them for a few minutes and cuddle. I leave them and I go out on the front room couch to relax, for some reason I can really wind down there. So I laid down on the couch and Ellie practically ran/waddled over and jumped up on my chest to purr at me, trying to make me feel better. Yeah, I am sure many cats do this all the time but Ellie doesn’t. She just doesn’t. She did this night though because she wanted to comfort me.

I finally made it into my bed and fell asleep only to be woken up by Ellie meowing, really loud, 15-20 times. Again, big deal, right? Cats tend to meow. Not Ellie. She doesn’t meow. It is rare. I don’t know what she was talking about but it made me run out to see if she was ok. She was fine. I like to think she was calling Wraggs, telling her to get her furry butt home this minute! Ellie has also been watching the bedroom floor where Wraggs slept. Like she is seeing her. Our pets know things that we don't know or realize. The mourn and are sad just like their humans. Ellie knows.

Wraggs is at peace now. She isn’t hurting anymore. And I am sure she would not want anyone to mourn her passing but would prefer folks celebrate her life. And that is what I am doing. I celebrate the 7 years she lived with me. I celebrate that she knew my parents and loved them for 6 years. I celebrate that she integrated 4 cats into this house along with Bob the orange cat that moved down here with her. I celebrate Wraggs.

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